thecatsme0w: (hello kitty)
[personal profile] thecatsme0w
She spent the first day packing her belongings into
boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and
a
bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a

few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was
bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the
place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid
to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided
to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and
eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a
new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her

the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home
terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement
in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he
agreed on price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been
worth...But
only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched
the moving company pack everything to take to
their new home...

...including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????

Date: 2004-09-28 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slothphil.livejournal.com
Fish on top of decorative wooden slats on the ceiling was the one that allegedly occurred at my student hostel.

But these days, surely everyone has heard such stories by now and knows the sorts of places to look...

Date: 2004-09-28 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] patgund.livejournal.com
(chuckle)

In my case, it was bobcat lure, (basically urine), squirted into the a/c vents of an appropriate person's car. A car that was parked in long-term airport parking. In August. In Southern California.

(Evil Grin)

Tuna oil poured into heating ducts works well too. Don't ask how I know such.... :-D

Date: 2004-09-28 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veryaquarius.livejournal.com
You would be surprised how well a box of crickets from the pet store, turned loose in a car, can work at causing a nervous breakdown .... They will have to sell the car during daylight hours only to keep them from chirping ....

Date: 2004-09-29 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vonne.livejournal.com
Is this a true story??

Date: 2004-09-29 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] that-david.livejournal.com
...including the curtain rods.

Anyone taking the curtain rods out of a house deserves what they get. Talk about cheap. Though I imagine this story is more apocryphal than factual.

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